Quote

Sometimes, a short quote says it all …

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” – C. JoyBell

Friends

Yesterday was mother’s day and across the world, most children were rightfully showing gratitude to their moms. Why do we all love our moms? The obvious reasons are that they gave birth to us and cared for and nurtured us without any expectations. They did so out of an inexplicable and joyful sense of love. The bond that is created from infancy to early childhood to teenage years through adulthood is immeasurable. Nothing makes moms happier than hearing from their kids, and knowing they are happy, safe and healthy.

Listen !!

In reading several human capital magazines and online forums in the past few months, there seems to be a growing recognition of the epidemic of poor listening skills, especially at leadership levels. I was recently asked if there was a connection between listening skills and EQ. Yes!

Emotional Bipolar II

Last week I introduced the concept of being emotionally bipolar. This is the idea of being very strong and courageous in some situations with certain people, and being weak and fearful in others. The key in both is the emotional safety that you feel. My argument was that since you already have demonstrated strength and courage, and therefore have these attributes, then by simply altering your emotional temperature or of that of the situation, you can in fact proactively create more emotionally safe environments that then allow you to perform at higher levels more consistently.

Emotionally Bipolar

I had a wonderful conversation with a good friend last week discussing a condition I have labeled as Emotional Bipolar. This applies to people who are exceptionally emotionally intelligent in one dimension of life, and inexplicably, totally inept in another dimension. An example is someone who is incredibly warm, loving, empathetic, and caring at home but an absolute monster (no empathy, no compassion, no self awareness, no self regulation) to work for or with at work, or vice versa.

Female EQ

I have blogged about Male EQ before and it’s time to turn the focus on women. Last week I saw an interview with facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg on her book Lean In. I know many of my readers will disagree with me on my take on her central premise. Therefore, my qualifier to this week’s blog is that as a minority myself, I am all for equality in all dimensions of life and have been a fierce advocate against all forms of discrimination in our society. That said, I think Sheryl has it wrong.

Employee Satisfaction

I read a very interesting study last week on employee satisfaction surveys. These are surveys that organizations use to assess the overall satisfaction and engagement of employees. The data is often used to make important decisions by leadership regarding leadership behavior and values, employee work place rewards and perks, and sometimes used by external organizations as a metric for a “best place to work” for.

I Don’t Know …

I met with a CEO recently who shared a powerful transformation in her leadership style.  She told me that through most of her career rising through the ranks, people came to her for answers. Sometimes she had them, sometimes she did not, but almost always, she know how to process data points to make the best guess.

Take a risk…

My mentor, Gary, had an amazing grasp of quotes and of using them at the right time. He died almost 25 years ago but I still remember him as fondly and vividly as I do someone I met yesterday. Here is one of the quotes he used with me (and I confess I do not know the author of it): “Accept a man as he is, and he shall remain as he is. Accept him as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be.”

Changing Workplace

It was coincidence that my blog last week was about office space and that in the same week, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer ended telecommuting at her company. Also last week, the buzz around Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s book about re-inventing the role of women in the workplace generated healthy dialogue about the working environment.

Fear Not

 

If you have bought or sold a home in the past 5 years or so, then you are familiar the concept of virtual tours of homes. For example, your realtor might send you a link to a home that, from the convenience of wherever in the world you are, you can tour that actual home via a real video walk-through.  You can imagine the countless hours and weekend time this new method has saved all parties.

Visualize Past Success

It is often implied when using the term visualization that you are referring to the future. You are often told to visualize success, or a goal, or a desired outcome before it has happened. There are so many good quotes out there from inspiring people on the power of dreaming about something better in the future. This is all good.

The Goal Post Model

I often make references from the professional athletes I work with to the corporate world. Here is one that I have used with success with athletes from many sports. It’s called the Goal Post Model and is quite simple. Professional athletes spend well above 75% of their time practicing and only actually performing the rest. For Olympic athletes, training can last many years for a performance that lasts just a few seconds or minutes. So training can be monotonous, as life at work can be sometimes.

Half Empty or Half Full?

I know you have read all about this concept already. You know what it means – the idea that it really is up to you to look at a glass of water filled to the half way mark, and decide whether it is “half empty” (the pessimist) or “half full” (the optimist). We also know there is a ton of empirical research showing that the optimists are more productive, and happier. Even at younger ages, students with higher levels of optimism score better on scholastic tests.

Happiness

Last week I stumbled on a documentary promoted by Starbucks simply entitled “Happiness.” What I loved about it was that it was being discussed by neuroscientists and psychologists using empirical research. Two findings stood out for me. First, that money does play a part in happiness but only to a certain level.