The next two weeks are my favorite time of the year. It’s the holidays and for most, work slows down and many take time off. It’s also the end of a calendar year which is a perfect time to take inventory of 2014. Here are list of questions that I invite you to answer – I recommend having at least three responses to each question. Put them down in a document that you can refer to regularly – preferably on your mobile device. Continue reading
Everyone has the capacity to coach someone else at something – whether it is coaching kids in a sport, an after school program, friends, family, neighbors, people that you work with or those that work for you. There is a skill set or knowledge you have acquired that someone else could benefit from. There are many benevolent reasons why this can be both personally rewarding as well as having a positive impact to the recipient – coachee. If that is not enough reason, then consider a much more self-serving one – it will make you better at just about everything you want to do. How so?
When I ask anyone if they are smarter now than they were five years ago, the answer is always “yes!” I am told that the reason is that in the past five years via all kinds of life experiences and training, they have learned a great deal. Alrighty then. Where do you store all that you have learned – not just in the past five years but the past 10 or 20 years? If your answer to this question is “my brain” – then know that you have greatly diluted the value of the very experiences and learning you have earned.
Recently I had a healthy exchange with a good friend on the topic of happiness. She leveraged the Eckhart Tolle premise of happiness being only in the “now” – the present, and as such, not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. I have had several issues with this premise for many years despite being a fan of Tolle.
The topic of courage has been explored for perhaps centuries. It would appear there really is not much more to uncover. We all know what it is, why it is important, and have no problem recognizing it when we see it. Yet, I wonder how many of you have ever been asked this question: “How courageous are you?” How many of you have ever verbally answered that question to an audience? How many of you have asked that question directly to someone else? How many of you know how to answer that question? For a character attribute that is associated with the ability to overcome challenges, daily and difficult ones, it is important to have answers to these questions. Continue reading
In coaching executives and athletes, I have come to learn that any change, especially behavioral change, is just hard. Establishing the case for change is relatively easy as is finding the right plan and tools to make the change. But then to actually do it (change) and maintain it, is where old habits tend to win over desired new ones. So here is a better way to make change (improvements for yourself) an achievable endeavor in a sustainable manner.
This week, I will be attempting to complete my second Ironman Triathlon. For those not familiar with the race, it is a 2.4 mile swim in the Tennessee river, following by 116 miles (4 more than normal) of a bike ride across Tennesee and Georgia, and then a 26.2 mile run (marathon) in the downtown Chattanooga district. All of this starts around 740AM on Sunday September 28th, and has to be completed by midnight. The central premise of my last book (www.triathleteq.com
) was that these endurance events are as much an emotional endurance test as they are a physical endurance test. How might this be connected to what you do at work this week?
During the race, I only have three resources: (1) what I know (2) what I am carrying with me and (3) what is around me. The last resource is one that is grossly underutilized and can often be the game-changer especially in tough times. In a race, an athlete is only allowed to use nutrition and hydration that is provided by the course at stations set up on the bike and the run. But that is not what I am talking about. Think of ALL the OTHER resources like music, wind, beautful weather, a scenic farm or hill or home, people cheering you and volunteers there helping you, to name just a few. All these resources are there and I try to engage with them using my five senses but also by actively engaging with them. I do not know this for sure, but I am fairly certain I have the world record for saying “Thank You” to volunteers in a Triathlon. In fact, I often point my finger at each person I say thank you to and look them in the eye. Sometimes there are many volunteers at a station and even kids handing out water and I will purposefully slow down to engage with them. Almost 100% of them time, the response from the volunteer is a positive one. Acknowledgements like “you’re welcome” or “you’re looking great” or “you got this” and they are always smiling back to me. I know that those comments were directly and specifically for me. The hormonal impact on by body watching those smiles and hearing those responses for me I can literally feel all over my body. This in turn keeps my negative thoughts away, and still allows me access to my brain where all race-day decisions will be made.
Your career is an endurance race. An important day at work could be your metaphoric race. Or it might just be a tough day. What if on this day, instead of you expecting people to come to you to cheer you, you proactively went and found compliments to give out to those around you. like my “thank you?” All the people around you and all the places around you are no different that those on my race. They are underutilized. This week, make it a point to notice everything great about your trip to work, about the people around you and the geography of your workplace. Then use your 5 senses to engage with one in each category. See you feel after – specifically if you feel more empowered to tackle your day. Oh by the way, if you want to track me on Sunday – go to www.ironman.com
and insert my bib# 775! Thank you!
One of the pleasures of my job is I get to have meaningful and substantive conversations with people within the context of my being a coach and the other party being someone who has hired me to help them. I am an executive coach, not a therapist, so my clients are people who are very intelligent, talented and generally successful but not happy. I have seen quite a shift in the “knowledge” of these folks over the past 10 years or so. With social media and abundance of easily accessible knowledge via the internet, it is infinitely easier now for folks to find information in all kinds of format (pictures, video, stories, blogs, etc) that they can relate to that is quite specific to their unique point of journey in life. So when I talk them now, they are already well-equipped with insights and best-practices. They even send me all kinds of material saying “this is what I need to be doing” yet their ability to actually do it, to make changes to their lives that they know will have positive impacts, remains inexplicably low. I am now seeing people living in two worlds – one in which they have a clear picture of who they want or wish they could be and the other being the world they currently live in. It’s almost as though the clearer the former is, the more unbearable the latter is coming. Continue reading
Like most, I was both shocked and incredibly sad that the great comic Robin Williams died last week. I followed quite a good bit of the news both on mainstream and social media. I was most moved by pictures of people standing on their desks professing: “Oh Captain My Captain” – a line from one of my all-time favorite movies, Dead Poets Society. I tried to glean what it was exactly that so many people from so many generations from so many different parts of the world loved about this man. I have concluded it was his ability to tell the simple truth. Sure he was a genius at characters and comedic impromptu performances, but these were merely the window-dressing to the truth on so many subjects that came out of his mouth. Every professional comic will tell you that humor is an incredible truth-softener. Continue reading
I am fortunate enough to have a profession where having authentic conversations is part of my job. I hear many stories from very accomplished people. What they have in common is well researched and documented already and of the many shared attributes of these folks, I enjoy listening to that ‘one experience’ they all have after which, their self confidence is impenetrable. It may waiver from time to time with failure and success, but the belief that they are special enough to do great things is forever imprinted in their DNA. Continue reading
In a recent conversation, a good friend of mine was sharing the details of her previous day. She said it was a day filled with all kinds of very different and unanticipated challenges – both on the personal and professional fronts. This was very different from her normal day. She was able to get through the day successfully but was totally exhausted. I told her she had a great day. My valuation of her day surprised her and she asked: How could that possibly be a great day?
There is a difference between seeking clarity and seeking advice. Both are invaluable exercises in critical thinking and the decision-making process. Some of the distinctions are obvious. We seek advice from parents, friends, coaches, attorneys, and consultants for example. They tell us what to do. We also seek clarity from the same folks as a precusor to the advice. Continue reading
For some reason, when I ask younger professionals what they need to do to be better, they can quickly provide an exhaustive list. This is to their credit. For folks over 40 or so, the response to the same question becomes challenging. People tend to take longer to respond, their lists are much shorter, and their desire to actually be better seems far less than their junior counterparts. Why is this? Continue reading
As an executive coach, I have had the great privilege to work with amazing leaders across the world from all walks of life. Regrettably, many of them do not have healthy relationships with their children. My mantra has always been that success in one dimension of life that occurs at the expense of another is not success. Continue reading
I recently worked with a group of leaders on innovation in their company. The starting point was discussing why it is so hard to be creative at work? If people in general are not creative and problem-solvers, then that is one thing. But given the access to knowledge we all have now, it is hard to find people who have a need in their personal lives and with a few minutes of clicking, cannot find a creative solution to their problem. Since most of us are very creative and resourceful, then something must happen in the workplace that stifles innovation. If you agree with this, then innovation in the workplace is less about installing new systems and processes, and more about removing barriers to unleash what employees already do outside of work. Continue reading