Managing Change Emotionally

I recently facilitated a session on Emotional Intelligence with a small group of CEOs of mid-size companies who are in growth mode. I was hired for the round-table session to help them appreciate the impact of change on their employees. Change Management is certainly not a new topic and there are dozens of very good books out there on the subject.  I chose to discuss this from an EQ perspective and a personal perspective.

Emotional Literacy

Last week when I spoke at the TTI Conference I was in the company of hundreds of folks who wake up every morning trying to figure out ways to help their clients, specifically in the professional development space. These folks are some of the best executive coaches, consultants, and trainers in the world, armed with some of the best intellectual capital in the world. I offered them a few thoughts I’d like to share with you.

Bosses

The past few weeks I’ve facilitated several sessions with managers and leaders. These sessions were with peer groups (people at the same level) and invariably, the “boss” came up. I was stunned at how many people tolerated to disliked or flat out hated their bosses.  I do not have any quantitative data on this but I tell you, it was well over 90% within the small sample size I experienced. There was only one person I can recall who actually thought of their boss as someone they looked up to, who was genuinely a human being with attributes worth emulating, and who modeled the values and skills that they thought their boss ought to have.  How is this possible? How can bosses be so poorly viewed by their subordinates?

Who are your benchmarks?

I have a young son, Hunter, and a young daughter, Lexi. They are very healthy, and other than acting their age, both are great kids. This weekend, I applauded my son for a good behavior he exhibited. His response surprised me – he asked, ”Did I do better than Lexi?”  I was surprised that he could not take a compliment, and even worse, his sense of accomplishment was based on how someone else did.

Try Setting Different Goals

As some of you may know, I work with several professional athletes. One of them is a professional golfer and last week, I spoke with his swing instructor.  He talked about how hard the golfer had been working with him on his swing, the “technique” of the game. I played 9 holes with the golfer, mostly to assess where his “emotional intelligence” was (i.e., how he handled adversity on the golf course).