Category Archives: Relationships

I see GREEN people

coloredpeopleI had a wonderful conversation with a wonderful friend last week. At about the two hour mark, I got asked how it is that I assess people I meet. I have been asked that question before by others and myself. The process has evolved over the years. Continue reading

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Listen !!

listenIn reading several human capital magazines and online forums in the past few months, there seems to be a growing recognition of the epidemic of poor listening skills, especially at leadership levels. I was recently asked if there was a connection between listening skills and EQ. Yes! Continue reading

Newtown Shooting Recovery

I will deviate from the normal structure of my blogs to discuss the tragic shooting in Newtown, Connecticut last week. It has been the sole topic of discussion over the past couple of days and I suspect will be for days and weeks to come. This event has touched everyone across the world because of the age of the victims, and rightfully so. As such, everyone is grieving and this grieving will not stop magically the moment you step in the office today. How to deal with this grief is getting little attention and in some cases the advice is conflicting. For example, one of my good friends received a letter from his kids’ Principal instructing parents to avoid discussing the issue. Yet another Principal of another school encouraged parents to discuss it. Who is right? Continue reading

Right Advice

There is a wonderful scene in “Father of the Bride” (Steve Martin comedy movie) where he tells his daughter to put a sweater on because it’s cold outside and she ignores him several times. Then her fiancée asks her to do the same and she immediately puts it on. The same good advice was not heard from one source, but immediately embraced from another. Continue reading

Flawed Friends

This past weekend I was out of the country and had the opportunity to connect with people from many parts of the world in a face-to-face setting. I was struck again by just how similar we all are. At one round table, the conversation shifted to personal learning. One man said, “I discarded many people in my life that had flaws, and kept ones that were close to perfect. And I realized over the years that in fact, my perfect friends were the more flawed ones.” Continue reading

Work Conversations

I try not to discuss our business in these blogs and in fact I think this may be the first time I am doing so. I am making an exception this week because last Thursday, I had quite possibly the most rewarding day of my professional life (with perhaps the exception of the first Impact Day I led at Deloitte about 13 years ago!). Continue reading

5-1 Ratio of Surprises

I received quite a substantive amount of messages regarding the last blog post on surprises. As folks begun to ask direct reports, and peers (and even family members) of what surprised them in the previous few weeks or months, there were predictable surprises at the surprises. Continue reading

Happiness: Best Defense

The past few weeks I’ve been discussing how impactful past negative experiences are to present-day life and interactions. New pathways set as a result of emotional trauma change the way that our brain processes future experiences, thus setting the appropriate context for the “get up when you get down” mantra–so logical and popular but so hard to do. Continue reading

Workplace Thanksgiving

I love this time of year. Thanksgiving is next week and it’s my favorite holiday. Families travel to be with family without the stress of getting gifts or celebrating anything but a good meal and the company of loved ones. They tell each other new stories, the same stories, hear about highlights and lowlights, and do it all in a safe environment without any real agenda. I’ve been told that the tradition of gathering together for a meal is not only a universal one but also one that we’ve practiced generation after generation. For many, this can be the only time of the year that we get together with our extended families and friends. It’s a special time. Continue reading

Real Conversations

The past couple of weeks have been wonderful. I’ve had some truly amazing and rich conversations on a myriad of topics with a diverse group of folks. All of these referenced conversations have been substantive in nature, and caused me to pause, reflect, ponder, wonder, and leave feeling better about both my past and future. Continue reading

Mothers’ EQ

In honor of Mother’s Day yesterday, I put some thought into why mothers universally are so loved by their children. I have no idea what the surveys would show, but I am guessing that mothers rate as a category of human beings most loved.  Though I am a father, I marvel at the connection that my wife has with my children, and vice versa. Continue reading

Mirror Neurons

Some new research is emerging in neuroscience regarding the dynamics of human relationships.  One of the findings references a set of neurons that reside in the bottom back part of our brains that are being labeled “mirror neurons.”  Their role? Once threat levels of an experience or a person is designated by the prefrontal lobes, mirror neurons instinctively mimic the stimuli. Continue reading

Electronic Communication

I was in Whistler, Canada last week (about 2 hours west of Vancouver) speaking a group of fantastic CEOs. I brought up a statistic that generated a good bit of discussion. The statistic has been on our website for quite some time – almost 70% of workplace communication is now electronic and this has created about 243% more workplace conflict.  Continue reading

Low EQ Scores

I have a wonderful business partnership and relationship with TTI (Target Training International) – they are one of the largest assessments companies in the world. They are using an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Assessment designed by us here at EQmentor.  Last week, I received several calls from people who administer these assessments to organizations. They were not happy that the results of the EQ Assessment were all lower than average. “Some of these people are very successful!” they argued. Continue reading

Emotions in Teams

There seems to be a renewed focus on teams this year as we continue to gravel out of the recession and hire back talent to begin projects that were postponed over the past few years. Thanks to the workforce shifts as a result of the recession, many more new teams are being formed. And all the dynamics associated with team formation are playing out. Continue reading