Visualize Past Success

It is often implied when using the term visualization that you are referring to the future. You are often told to visualize success, or a goal, or a desired outcome before it has happened. There are so many good quotes out there from inspiring people on the power of dreaming about something better in the future. This is all good.

Right Advice

There is a wonderful scene in “Father of the Bride” (Steve Martin comedy movie) where he tells his daughter to put a sweater on because it’s cold outside and she ignores him several times. Then her fiancée asks her to do the same and she immediately puts it on. The same good advice was not heard from one source, but immediately embraced from another.

Coaching is not Motivation

Last week I spent time with a coach of a professional team. He came to my office and confessed that he realized that all the things he had learned and mastered in life were no longer enough to work with athletes almost 40 years younger than him in this world of constant connection and transparency. He made a decision that before the start of the new season, he was going to learn something new. My first question was what troubled him the most. His response? “I have great athletes who lack desire and hunger to succeed. How can I get them motivated?”

Make Your Own Mistakes

Last week, I had a delightful lunch with a client I will call John. I asked him afterwards if I could share our conversation in my weekly blog, and he graciously approved. John is a senior executive with direct responsibility for the largest of six business units at his company. He has done a remarkable job over the years building relationships, making good business decisions, and has done so being very healthy (runs 20 miles every week) and having a wonderful family.  John is an avid reader. He reads 2-3 books a week. John has an intelligent opinion and grounded perspective on just about any topic. So why is he talking to me?

Circle of Life

The topic of the circle of life came up in a meaningful conversation I had last week. I wrote about it in my first book in 1994 (Clearing Your Path) coincidentally. There is an exercise in the book where you can take inventory of people in your life and categorize them per age group. The first age group is 0-12 and the last one is 65+. In other words, you would make a list of people you spend frequent and meaningful time with who are aged 0-12 and go through the circle of life to the last group of people you know who are above 65.

Women Entrepreneurs

Closing 2011

This will be my last blog post for 2011. Like most of you, I’ll take a break over the next few weeks, so bear with me for a longer-than-usual post. What an amazing year this has been for me on all fronts, setting very high expectations for an even better 2012. When I write my weekly blog posts, I typically look back at the previous week and reflect on what to write. Ironically, this past week itself was a wonderful microcosm of the whole year itself.

Grief – A Powerful Emotion

Yesterday, I attended the service of a friend, Lisa Marie Meloni, who died last week. Lisa was an only child, never been married, and lost a two-year fight to cancer. Her parents had moved to take care of her. Lisa was truly one of the nicest people I’d ever met, and I can’t seem to recall any time that there was not a very contagious smile on her.

The Evolved Hunter

Being born and raised in developing countries in the 70s and 80s, I am acutely aware of how much both formal and informal learning has changed. Last week I had several independent experiences where folks told me that YouTube was their first source of knowledge. One can find someone demonstrating whatever it is we need to learn in a short succinct, to-the-point, and practical manner.

Change Your Mind

This past weekend, I took my kids to Washington, DC, for the first time. We visited all the key landmarks. It had been a while since I was last in DC as a tourist. I was struck by one inscription inside the Jefferson Memorial.  The author was Thomas Jefferson himself, written in 1816. Here it is:

Real Conversations

The past couple of weeks have been wonderful. I’ve had some truly amazing and rich conversations on a myriad of topics with a diverse group of folks. All of these referenced conversations have been substantive in nature, and caused me to pause, reflect, ponder, wonder, and leave feeling better about both my past and future.

Just a thought…

I am NYC this week and happen to be staying with a friend on the west side of Manhattan in Tribeca. The apartment is on the 43^rd floor and directly in view is Ground Zero. As I write this, I can see all the construction work progressing and it’s still hard to imagine what this area went through over ten years ago. In the same glance—to the right—is a perfect view of the Statue of Liberty, and all the tourist boats circling it.  I am struck this morning at this juxtaposition. Two contrasting symbols in one view.  One of our capacity for destruction and another a timeless symbol of hope and prosperity. I don’t have any profound conclusions or recommendations for you this week … but wanted to share this and let you reach your own. Have a great week all.

Ask questions

I was on the West Coast last week, meeting with several clients off the 101.  At dinner one night, a client asked me to help him with some anxiety he experienced when he faced difficult questions in meetings or other settings. He wondered if it had anything to do with EQ. I asked him why he thought he had to answer every question that was asked of him. The pause lasted about five minutes.

Egypt

Being from Africa, I was deeply moved by the events in Egypt last week. Don’t worry – this is not a political blog. What moved me was the power of non-violence (which is the political term for what I call Emotional Intelligence).

Hierarchy of Misery

Last week, I had the pleasure of listening to a good friend, Debra Moore, speak on Diversity & Inclusion and we followed that up with lunch. She spoke about a concept she called the “Hierarchy of Misery,” where one minority or victimized group feels like their misery is worse than that of some other groups’. Blacks feels more persecuted in their past than say, women do, or vice versa. Jews feel more prejudice than, say, Mormons.